A lady met with a  road accident where she lost her finger.She filed a case against the car owner.
Judge asked," Why do you ask for such a heavy compensation on losing your finger?"
"Your honour,I used to make my husband dance on it ! Now tell me,is this not a very important loss!"

"All air-hostress are useless,"tells Sourav to Sachin.
"ailla,was there any failed romantic liasion?"asked Sachin.
"aare baba,what romance are u talking at the time of plane take off?"After showing my seat, she ties the  seat -belt securely and asks"is there any thing i can do for u SIR"

Learn little bit of Palmistry.You will benefit doubly!one,while travelling on a train it will
fetch u a seat and secondly.will help you to hold hands of beautiful ladizze,thus ensuring a comfortable journey.

Which is the most dificult question in the world?
"Are u asleep"-u will never get an answer!

Teacher:Which is the most commonly heard phrase in the class?
Student : I don't know sir.
Teacher: Perfect.

"Dear,if I die of this disease, what will happen to you"
"I will almost turn mad"
"No,dear will  u marry again?"
"Didn't u hear me? I said 'almost' not 'totally',so"

"Sorry,to hear about your father's sad demise.Was he able to speak till his last breath"
"No dear,My mother was at his bedside"

Raj:"Today I bought a new hearing aid"
Jit :"Can you hear properly now?"
Raj:"I paid Rs.1239 for it."